When Plans Fall Apart: How to Navigate Seasons of Waiting and Disappointment

My husband (Luke) and I are in a season of waiting and feeling disappointment after our plans to pursue residency in a certain country we were longing to live in was rejected.

We had plans. We had a home in place, got accepted into language school, got a car, financially invested time, money, + excitement for months, and then the door closed, just like that, with a simple letter of rejection with no context, help, or explanation.

Though we have been redirected and have friends that welcomed us back to where we are now with love and open arms, I am writing this to remind you that it is okay to be disappointed and not have an answer for “what now?”

Resting in the unknown, in the in between, in the tension of transition is hard and messy. And in our instant gratification society, it feels impossible to pause and regroup and be okay with not having the answers right away.

I am also writing as a gentle reminder that experiencing disappointment and swallowing the truth that the answer to your prayer is “no” or “not right now” is hard, but it is also an opportunity to grow, refine your faith, and expose the depths of your heart if you keep a curious + teachable posture + tend to your mind, body, and spirit while you wait.

If you are in a current season of wrestling with disappointment or waiting, here are some of the strategies I am currently using to lean into God’s comfort in this season + embody trust in Him:

Reflect on past experiences where God provided for you.

It is easy to forget that God is good when you are disappointed. I think as humans, we are naturally prone to this, which is why scripture is so filled with examples of God providing for His people, and to “remember” what has been done for them. This can be done in many ways. Perhaps it looks like taking time to reflect on a situation where you thought you wanted a specific outcome, but it turned out better than you had expected and it was worth the wait. Reflect on how God’s timing, though different from yours, worked out positively in the past. Recounting His faithfulness can create gratitude + awe and serve as a healing balm to our souls + nervous system.

Allow yourself time to grieve your plans and what it cost you without spiritually bypassing yourself.

Slapping a smile + bible verse over disappointment without nurturing + tending to the pain, can cause resentment to grow in our hearts.

Resentment gives birth to anger + irritability + often causes us to dissociate, which can fuel negative coping strategies if we are not careful.

This can also cause us to run on stress hormones, which impacts our physical body, leading us to feeling easily triggered, burnt out, prone to isolate, + feeling defeated.

Often, when you get down to it, these responses are modes of protection we use to cope.

Curiosity, lamenting, + grieving on the other hand, allows God to get to work and heal areas that need tending to. I have a great post on the practice of embodied lamenting in the comments if you want to read it.

Wait for God expectantly + find hope in His Word as you wait. In Psalm 130, the writer says, “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, in His word do I hope.” Hope not only feeds our soul but it impacts our health. But hope is not passive, it takes intention, and rebellion to continue to hope. And it’s hard to do when your Bible is closed.

Calm + quiet your soul by leaning into the truth that the Lord is not holding out on you. He is likely refining you.

In Psalm 131:2, the psalmist writes, “But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

For a child, the process of weaning is uncomfortable. But it is ultimately for their continued development. In the same way, God often uses seasons of disappointment to wean us from things we may have been trusting in more than Him.

I love the way Spurgeon puts this:

“When God allows things or circumstances in our life that wean us from things we have relied on, we should never despise it. “Blessed are those afflictions which subdue our affections, which wean us from self-sufficiency, which educate us into Christian manliness, which teach us to love God not merely when he comforts us, but even when he tries us.”

It is also important to remember that the psalmist took action to calm + quiet his soul. Cultivating a sense of calm is not just a mindset. It is also a felt sense with physiological sensations that occur.

Reflecting on questions like, “what does it feel like in my physical body when I experience disappointment, chaos, or sadness,” vs “what does it feel like in my body when I experience a sense of calm, and what do I need to provide for myself in this moment to cultivate this sense?” helps us tend to our mind, body, + Spirit and take action as we wait, knowing this experience is for our ultimate good and spiritual formation.

If you’re in a season of disappointment or waiting, I hope this encourages you in some way.

Written by Megan Taylor

Megan is a former Nurse Practitioner turned Functional Health Practitioner. She owns a private consulting practice called Refined Wellness and runs an online biblically rooted + holistic wellness community.

She has passion to empower Christian women to break free from survival mode, reverse chronic preventable symptoms, and reclaim an embodied faith. She does this by empowering, inspiring, and equipping women with knowledge of their God designed physiology, through a Biblical lens.

Connect with her on Instagram here.